What I Plan To Do During My Year-Long Sabbatical

In no particular order (or maybe from most significant to least), below is my to-do list for the following year:

1. Sleep.

2. Home school my kids. I figure I’m way smarter than them, so how hard can it be?

3. Sleep.

4. Facebook stalk each of my friends. I’m pretty judgmental so if you can’t handle the scrutiny, now would be a good time to unfriend me.

5. Sleep.

6. Have (more and better quality) relations with my husband. Considering the sorry state of our current affairs (or lack thereof), this should not be difficult.

7. Sleep after having relations with my husband.

8. Explore Vietnam and travel to other amazing, unforgettable places throughout Asia.

9. Read for fun. No purchase agreements or indentures for a year, yippee!

10. Do some soul-searching to see if I have one.

11. Write a total piece of crap and become instantly rich and successful. It worked for Fifty Shades of Grey, right?

12. Achieve symmetrical eyebrows. They each take turns being arched and rounded, but never both at the same time. I do not understand what causes this.

13. Gain 20 pounds from eating everything in sight.

14. Lose 10 pounds from the diarrhea resulting from eating everything in sight.

15. Take naps in between bouts of diarrhea.

Not a particularly admirable list but hopefully evolving.

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A former corporate attorney who is now happily retired and does whatever she wants.

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