Spring Break 2017: Miami

We rented a house in Miami to vacation with another family over spring break. The owner called it a “villa” but really it was just a big house with a pool. We picked the house for its proximity to the beach; it was supposed to have been walking distance but we attempted the walk only once because street construction by the house was horrendous. There was a massive pit right outside our front door. So we ended up having to drive and park everywhere, which was precisely what we were trying to avoid. That was my biggest gripe.

My second biggest gripe about Miami was that when Tom took me to dinner at a swanky hotel restaurant for date night, the waiter manipulated me into ordering crab claws by telling me they were about to be taken off the menu. As soon as you tell me I won’t be able to have something it becomes infinitely more enticing to me. So I ordered the crab claws as an appetizer. Then the waiter asked, “Do you want one or two?” Who the hell orders one crab claw? Nature created them in pairs. I gave my husband two children, I deserve to have my own crab claw without having to share that too. When the bill came at the end of the meal I saw (2) crab claws – $70. On what planet does a single crab claw cost $35?? Maybe Mars, where water might exist but crab claws definitely don’t. But Miami is surrounded by the ocean, did this restaurant have Martian crab claws shipped in? WTAF.

Despite these hardships, we actually managed to have fun in Miami, and got lots of cute pictures of the kids.



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A former corporate attorney who is now happily retired and does whatever she wants.

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